idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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