ya dads aren't the best wingmen
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
