I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize