I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
