I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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