Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
