so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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