great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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