just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
