I'm really into asian looking animals
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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