i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
