rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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