if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
