my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
