Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
