Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
