I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
