remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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