Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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