it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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