Jerry, you need to find god
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
