next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize