all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
