Will you blow on my dice?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
