I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
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Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
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karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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