yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I want her autograph on my taint
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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