Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I wear drunk well.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
