he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?