You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.