so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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