I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
