Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
