Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The air was thick with penises
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
