i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think pants incapable of making pants work
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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