Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
