I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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