She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
