I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
