how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He shit in the fireplace
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
