In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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