So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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