It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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