I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
