So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
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he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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