i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
