Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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