My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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