So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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