just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
