can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
