Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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