he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
