i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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