I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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