Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
