the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
