How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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