Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
sex in a hospital.. check
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
