and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
