I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
