I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize