So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
