Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize